Around this time as recent as two or three years ago, I chased after the expat lifestyle, dreaming of and even having the incredible fortune of living these wanderlust dreams.
But whether it was taking long walks through the lively streets of Guangzhou, or learning how to make seafood scallion pancake and tofu soup in Seoul; whether it was trying my first chocolate-drizzled Belgium waffle in Belgium, or staying overnight in a Finnish art installation in Paris; it seemed that my thirst for new experiences was unquenchable. The more I sought, the emptier I felt.
I would tell myself I did not want stability. I would throw myself into various journeys, only to feel a palpable loneliness. After all these adventures, I would inevitably return to equilibrium and realize that yes, I wandered; and yes, I was lost.
Fast forward to present time and it’s funny how much things have changed—and for the better. I feel so much more fulfilled emotionally. I no longer feel any need to wander—not that I physically can. Most importantly, I feel completely satisfied and know that it’s because I have my loving and amazing family and Hsuan. They are all I need.
Them and Aetna, because this is the statement of charges that came today from my 11-day hospitalization, including two days in the ICU and excluding the other half a million for the CAR-T treatment itself. Thanks to American health insurance for basically paying for me to keep living.