I had a serious bout of depression today. I cried multiple times, and at first I didn’t understand why.

But as I ruminated in my thoughts, I realized it’s because of a confluence of factors that ultimately boil down to the feeling of being trapped—physically, mentally, and socially isolated.

As someone who used to travel the world and crave adventure, I thought about how the next time I would use my passport would be for a very special occasion years from now, if not much longer. I thought about the memories that often return on my life before cancer. I thought about my nonexistent social life and nonexistent career. I thought about how lonely and isolated I am. It hurt to face these thoughts.

I have been very privileged and remain so in many ways, and precisely because of how lucky I have been to experience what many others never do in world travels and higher education, it pains me even more to be forced into a life of painstaking precaution and isolation. I don’t feel free.

I am so lucky to still be alive, and there should be no “buts” about it, BUT I am a young adult who is somehow still holding onto dreams and desires. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel sad.

I will be okay. We all need the lows to appreciate the highs. Waiting for my high.

One thought on “Escape


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.