Night and Day

My phone camera doesn’t do this morning’s sunrise justice.

I am in disbelief at the difference between Sonia this morning and Sonia tonight.

Sonia this morning hardly could stand up for more than a couple seconds before feeling so exhausted as to not be able to continue standing. I had not even packed, so the feat itself felt like the biggest challenge that ultimately needed my parents’ help.

Sonia this morning again could not eat more than a couple bites of an apple and oatmeal, but I managed to finish a whole boiled egg. That felt like an accomplishment. (Thank you, Chloe).

Sonia this morning wanted so badly to crawl back into bed, instead of waiting an hour to be admitted and being told that the room was not even ready yet. 7 a.m. was a couple hours too early.

Then, around 1 p.m., all the anticipation led to about 20 minutes of a small bag of my mutant T cells being given back to me, while chatting with a friendly med student who happened to be observing me today. Time passed amicably.

Like yesterday, I can’t pinpoint the exact turning point, this time from exhaustion-level-10-Sonia to almost-normal-Sonia, but it had a lot to do with chatting with the med student and the infusion itself.

Things just seemed to go a lot smoother as soon as I arrived in my hospital room, which itself is on the corner and one of the two large corner rooms in this ward. My nurse even joked that she would wonder who I talked to to get this room. Hey, it is my birthday coming up! The windows stretch along the wall facing my bed, so I get a view with plenty of sunlight.

Then a nurse told me that the bag on the table was actually a care package left by a previous patient, who wanted to gift them to other patients. Inside was full of goodies, including a blanket, candies, snacks, toothpaste, notebook, pens, tissues, and—importantly—a card with the gifter’s information. Later I found out that this woman actually calls in to check on her stock of care packages, meaning she continues to give and evidently inspires me to do the same once I leave.

The meds soon put me to sleep, before being awakened for a delayed baseline CT scan. The rest of the day passed by so quickly, and I had the strength and energy to talk to Hsuan, who also had time to talk to me haha. He has been QUITE the busybody with all his dramatic farewell meals with his friends and trips with his family.

Sonia tonight laughed and teased her forever loving boyfriend. Sonia tonight felt normal and like she did not belong in the hospital. Sonia tonight—while still cautiously anticipating worse side effects over the coming days—felt happy.

Also, I am now a genetically modified human. Come at me.